A-yo King Tut, is that you?

sunrise, sunset.

2010-07-14T22:09:00.003+03:00

A great suggestion for all, even those who have decided to have a stable life with a house and a steady job:

Put 98% of your belongings into storage for a year. Then, go to your storage unit and look at what you have. It’s like second Christmas! (Or, for those who have decided to have an inconsistent life with 4 apartments a year and a job that they are ready to quit at all times and they live in Egypt, it’s like first Christmas because you were your own Santa this year!)

That’s right, world, I have alighted upon the great Land of Liberty, the Melting Pot, the Mother Ship, the Homeland of all things Diet Coke!

I think Allah is insha-ing me to come back to Egypt, however, because of the following situations:

1. Oh, Glorious Target, How I Love Thee. Day 3 of my return to America = reunion with Target. My reunion with Target = the day that the Target lady took my credit card number and spent $3000.00. She better work it with my card!! I hope she at least bought something awesome with it, like a trampoline.

2. Chicken soft taco? Check. Side of rice? Check. Cheese dip? CHECK. Car battery dead in the parking lot in the pitch black and I have to end up calling a tow truck? Check.

If someone could just please poison my Diet Coke, then I will be on the first flight back to Cairo. Geez.

I am enjoying my time at home, in actuality, and I will be very busy for the next few weeks.

Actual conversation pre-return:
Mother: When would you like to go to Tennessee to visit?
Miss: Really, Sars, you plan it because I don’t know when the best time would be. I am not picky.
Mother: Okay, I will. I guess we might have to stop by Disney World too.

What? And fine by me!

And now, friends, family, and other weirdos who read this, I have an announcement. This will be the final installment in A-yo King Tut, is that you?: Just an American girl trying to get a piece of the Sphinx. I know, your pulse has stopped momentarily, but it will start again shortly. What ever will you read on a every-other-month basis? Who will provide you with the true and most important information about Egypt? Well, I don’t know, and quite honestly, that will be your own issue to deal with.

The reasoning behind this is because living in Egypt has become less of an Adventure, and more of an everydayprocess. By the end of this year, I was simply going to work and taking amazing naps. It has become just my life, and I never was one of those people who wanted to have a blog that just updated the world on my everyday life. No one really cares what you ate for breakfast, what color you are feeling that day, what Sex and the City character you embody.

(Quaker Oats cereal, yellow, Carrie.)

In any case, I would like to give a big “Holla!” to all those who read my amazingly crafted words, and I would like to give a “Work itttttt!” to those who commented. It is nice to know that there are people back home who are thinking of me, and I am thinking of all of you!

As I move from one school to another, I would like to rest your once-again beating hearts and let you know that my job at the Egyptian American International School is truly complete. I know this because of the following happening:

Some days the speakers that played the national anthem did not work, so the children would have to sing acapella. What that really means is that each child was singing at their own pace and their own volume and was completely oblivious to anybody else singing. One day was particularly bad, and so my kids stopped singing. I said, “Oh, just sing whatever you want.” One kid immediately sang, “Gotta get get, Gotta get get, Boom Boom POW!” And I said, “You are welcome, Egypt.”

“Good night, and good luck.” –George Clooney.

Also, the turtles died.

two updates. one about turtles, so read on.

2010-05-17T11:25:00.003+03:00

Truth: I have had no internet for about a month.
Lie: I love Taylor Swift.

And now for the updates.

Update 1
The turtles are doing great. They are basking, they are eating, they are swimming. Becky and I are proud mommies.

But. Pretzel is in big trouble, and she was placed in the Isolation Tank for a few days (not true, but dramatic effect). Let me share with you.

I went to check on the turtles before bed, as good mothers do. Contortia was sleeping in the fake seaweed, all tangled up in the plastic leaves. Pretzel, however, was floating in the water with her legs inside of her shell. Floating like a dead fish (only a dead turtle). She is a heavy sleeper, but she always wakes up after a while if I pick her up. I picked her up this time, and she did not move. She did not get mad at me for waking her up, because she did not wake up. I got very scared, and I ran into Becky's room screaming that Pretzel was dead.

Now. I am not sure if you know this, but Becky and I are both Turtle Mommies and Turtle Doctors. At this point in the story, we completed a series of tests on Pretzel to make sure she was really dead. Here are a few:

1. The Shell Tap Test: Can turtles even feel if you touch their shell? Doesn't matter. It's a death test. No movement.

2. The Toothpick Test: You take the non-sharp end of a toothpick and you poke the turtle in all orifices. If the turtle moves or wakes up, then it is alive. No movement.

3. The Baby Turtle Toes Test: You take the sharp end of a toothpick and you lift each baby turtle toe individually. If the legs slowly retract into the body, the turtle is probably still dead and it is just withering. Legs slowly retracted.

4. The Gravity Test: You hold the turtle upside down to see if the head falls out of the hole. If it does (it did), then you hold the turtle the other way to see if the head falls back in the hole (it did). Turtle pronounced dead by Dr. Becky at this point, as she could clearly see that Pretzel had no control over her movements.

5. The Booty Test: We heard from a friend that if you poke a turtle in the bottom, then its head will come out of the shell (Why? Do they not enjoy that?). So, you take the non-sharp end of this same toothpick and you poke the turtle in the booty. No response.

and finally

6. The Breath Test: Probably the least scientific test, but you check the turtle for signs of breathing. No throat movements.

At this point, Becky and I were both crying and laughing. We planned to have a turtle funeral with our friends on the next day. I just held deadbabyturtle in my hand, until we decided that we should take Contortia out of the Death Tank. So we went to the tank and put her in a smaller tank with some water and rocks. I placed Dead Pretzel on the table while we did this, and she was dead as a doornail. I really wasn't sure what to do with her after that, because we needed her body for the funeral the next day. So I put her back into the Death Tank. She just sat there, as dead things normally do,

BUT THEN

HER ARMS AND LEGS CAME OUT OF HER SHELL AND SHE STARTED FLAILING ABOUT!!!

Becky and I screamed as loudly as we could possibly scream. After we finished screaming from shock, we began yelling in anger. We yelled at Pretzel and called her "Bad Turtle" and said that she would be on punishment. Then we put Contortia back into the Fake-Death Tank and went to bed.

Update 2
In case you have not heard, I have decided to stay in Egypt for one more year. I will be coming home early July, and I will be leaving late August. I will be working in a different school next year, which I am excited about. Becky is going home next year, and Niall is moving to Shanghai. Other than that, most of the friends that I have made will be staying another year as well. I have already broken the news to Bill and Sara, which made for a really nice Mother's Day gift.

However, I am truly excited to be coming home to the Great Land of the Free for a bit.
I will be
-eating cheap Mexican immediately upon departure from the plane
-going to Target 100 times
-going to the beach
-eating at Cracker Barrel
-going to Tennessee
-going to DC
-eating a box of corn dogs
-eating 14 barbeque sandwiches
-driving

And what.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

bilaadi, bilaadi, bilaadi
let the hopi wi fouadyyyy

(this is my interpretation of the Egyptian National Anthem. it is not entirely correct).

Let's clear this up.

2010-04-28T14:51:00.003+02:00

An Adham: "Miss, do you have a baby in your tummy?"

Miss Beth: "No."

Another Adham: "Oh, I guess that's just your tummy."

That is all.

i know you missed all thissss.

2010-04-18T16:35:00.003+02:00

Dear Blog (although I hesitate to use that word because I don’t like the connotation that comes along with being a blogger),

Hello old friend! I know that it has been a while…but I can explain. It was me, not you. I just needed some time to find myself. But now I think I am ready to try it again, if you’ll let me.

Here. Let me tell you what happened since we last corresponded.

Weeks 1 and 2: Work. Boring. Nobody really needs/wants to hear about my frustrations with work. That makes for a bad self-focused-website.

Week 3: Illness. I think I was the sickest I have been in years. You name it; I had it. It’s hard to type when it takes you 30 minutes to will yourself out of bed to go to the bathroom.

Week 4: Overbys do it up in Egypt! This requires a little explanation:

Bill, Sara, and Michael came to visit. I had to work for the first few days, so they hit the touristy spots in Cairo alone. They faced the taxi rides, the metro, the busy streets, the incessant pestering at the Pyramids…all by themselves! Mabrook, ya family!

Then we went on a Nile cruise. We started in Aswan and sailed our way to Luxor. We saw a myriad of temples and tombs. Sara sported a sweet Indiana Jones hat, Bill did NOT bring his fanny pack with the water bottle holders, and I got a really great picture of Michael eating an apple seductively. All in all, a great trip! We were on the cruise for 4 days and 3 nights, and it was a perfect combination of touristy things and time to relax by the pool.

Michael left a couple days before Mom and Dad, so the three of us got to gallivant around Cairo a little bit more. Dad got some money exchanged, and Mom immediately spent it all (classic Overby event). Then we ordered McDelivery, just for Dad! He took a picture so that he could show people how they just bring it to your house. We were lovin’ it, McDonald’s style.

(Side story: This week in school, I was teaching my kids the word “delivered” because it was in a story we read. I told them how in America, McDonald’s does not deliver food to your house. I had a kid who looked at me and said, “Why!?”)

Overall, it was a wonderful trip, and I was glad that my family got to see my life in Cairo and meet a few of the people that I spend time with.

Week 5: Ah, the talent show.

This week was the talent show. And let me tell you…my school loves a talent show. Talent show > Education. I have spent the last 2 days inside the auditorium with my class, in which we watched the entire talent show 3 times before it even happened. Finally, Thursday arrived! The day we had all been waiting for!

My class presented a dance which went with a medley of songs:
1. Thriller—Michael Jackson
2. Boom Boom Pow (obviously)—Black Eyed Peas
3. Hips Don’t Lie—Shakira (obviously)
4. The Chicken Dance—the most annoying song ever

They did a really good job, even though by the time we actually performed (oh wait, there were TWO talent shows…one for students and one for parents), we had all seen the full talent show 5 times. My kids were so tired. But they really did a great job with the dance.

So there you have it, online journal. A week by week update of my life during our break from each other.

Except for one amazing, wonderful, awesome, and whimsical thing. Becky and I got turtles. Leetle babin turtles! We bought them a home, and food, and rocks to bask upon. Their names are Pretzel and Contortia, and we love them. We are wonderful mothers. We feed them and make them bask and we let them swim. Also, we are worried they might die under our care, which seems maternal.

Here is how it happened. We were in the mall, and we walked one of those kiosks in the middle of the corridor, like a Sunglasses Hut. Except instead of selling eyewear, this kiosk sold pet supplies and small animals. Becky said, “Why don’t we have a fish?” I said, “I don’t know. Let’s get one! But let’s make sure we get a Beta fish because it is so hard to kill those things.” We walked up to the kiosk to look at the fish, and lo and behold! Baby turtles! “Or! We can get a turtle!!” I exclaimed. Becky replied with an astounding, “Done!” And that, my friend, is how we became the proud owner of 2 baby turtles.

Please don’t tell me it’s a bad idea. We figured that out when we got home and started researching turtles. We aren’t sure what kind of turtles they are. When we asked the kiosk man what kind they were, he said, “Um…sea turtles.” We said, “Okay.” So we are hoping that they live for 100 years and that we can ride them around in about 30 years.

Well, website-upon-which-I-can-share-my-adventures, I think we are back together. Insha’Allah.

Until next time,
Yours truly,
Beth

PS. Arabic Phrase O’ the Day:

mabrook, ya family**!
(congratulations, family!)
**Also, I don’t know the word for family, so this is in Amerabic.

somedays you gotta dance.

2010-03-11T18:46:00.002+02:00

Well, Becky and I have started belly dancing classes.

I am not sure why I have to go to class, since Shakira and I swing our hips like nun-chucks. I guess I just feel like I need to take a step back from all my professional moving and shaking, and really get down to basics. And get down to basics we did.

Let me put it to you in story format:

Becky and I got all geared up to go in our stretchy workout pants and sneakers. We walked in, and all the girls there were in little ballet flats and cute little outfits. Then they all started tying on their jingly belly shaker belt (I WILL be getting one of those, and I WILL NOT ever be taking it off).

Then the teacher walked in. She scared the holy molies out of me, because she was dressed in all black, had all sorts of plastic surgery, and had this air about her that meant: "I am a belly dancer. You WILL be a belly dancer when I am through with you." She was Argentinian. She spoke no words to the room; she simply went over to the stereo and turned a song on. We had apparently started class. So we stretched using beautiful hands and flexy legs.

She taught us different parts to one dance, which was good fun. I actually felt like I could do the steps, although this class pretty much confirmed what I already knew...my hips are indeed attached to the rest of my body. But there I was, belly dancing my little heart out. The teacher taught us moves with names like "BOOM tut-tut-tut" and "Mmmm a la la." My favorite thing that she said all night was (say this in your best Argentinian accent), "And now...we make shimmy."

Then we started the next song. The teacher taught us the first move, which went like this: Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, hipstotheleftreallyquickly, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, hipstotherightreallyquickly. Fairly simple, and so she then set it to music so we could practice it. Well. After the 2 seconds of dance moves that she had taught us, she just broke out into this crazy, complicated dance that we were just supposed to follow. It dealt with a lot of twirls, double twirls, feet going in different directions...and the crazy thing was that the other girls were following it!! I basically just stood there for a bit, looking at the teacher's feet, and then tried to follow it, but then when I did that, I was always facing the wrong direction. Luckily for me, I looked up and saw Becky just kind of twirling awkwardly like me, so I died laughing. The teacher saw us just standing and spinning slowly, and so she laughed at us too. Then when the song was over, she looked at us and said, "At least you were having fun."

So now, whatever you are doing on Tuesday night at 6:30-8:30pm, you can think of Becky and me, trying our darndest to be the most mediocre belly dancers that we can be.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

ana mish mitgowza, lazan ana aiza goozhend.
(i am not married, but i want a coconut)

did you know that the word 'gypsy' comes from eGYPt?

2010-02-25T10:29:00.002+02:00

Well, my midyear vacation has come and gone, and I am back at school once again. I have been in school for 4.5 days, and I feel as though it has been weeks. My education professors always told me that it takes time and consistency to get to know your kids, but I disagree. I think having as many days off as possible really helps my teaching.

As I have said, Greg and Mike came to visit. We went down to Luxor and Aswan, which is in Upper Egypt (ironically, Upper Egypt means that it is in the southern part of Egypt...clearly). We took the overnight train down to Luxor, and it was the most jerky, terrifying train ride ever. I blame the Spaniards. Spain said, "Hey, this train is horrible. It doesn't brake properly. We will sell it and get nice, new trains." Then they put the train on Train E-bay, and Egypt bought it. Then Greg, Mike, and I rode in it. I told Mike that he could have the rest of my Egyptian pounds if in the case that we de-railed.

Luxor is the home of all the pharaohs' temples. We went to the Luxor Museum, where I saw my first mummy, unwrapped like the scariest present ever. I think I have a problem because I was fully intrigued by these rotting people. The next day, we left at 6:00am to go to the Valley of the Kings, which is where are the pharaohs are buried. We got to Indiana Jones some tombs, until we decided we would take a hike to this big, beautiful temple around the mountain. We opted to go without a tour guide, and I opted to go for this hike in my sandals that I did not buckle closed. Both were really positive choices. We got lost on our hike, so it took us 2 hours to find the temple. By the time we got there, we just looked at it from the mountain and did not go inside. The upside is that since it was so early in the morning, we got an amazing view of the hot air balloons that people rent to watch the sunrise.

After more Lara Crofting, we moved down to Aswan. Aswan was relaxing, and we spent our time taking a felucca on the Nile, eating food, and walking around.

Then. We went home. And let me tell you. Holy moly. We couldn't get a train ticket at all, and we tried at least 4 times. The last time, they said it was all booked so we bought a bus ticket. The bus was going to take a couple hours longer, but we were just glad to be getting home somehow. We got on the bus with no problems. About 4-5 hours into the trip, the bus just pulled over and stopped, and we all had to get off because there was something wrong with the bus. We all had to wait for another bus to Cairo drove by. A bus came pretty soon, and so we piled on this new (new to us, not new to the world) bus. Fact: this bus was already full. Fact: we had 10 more hours to go. Fact: we all had to stand. A nice gentleman gave me his seat, and we were going to switch every hour, but he never took his seat back. I was very thankful. Greg and Mike settled on the floor of the bus with all the others, which was really comfortable. About 6 hours later, we reached Hurghada, which is where these people were going. They all got off and everyone finally had a seat.

Moral of the story? I was on that bus for 17 hours. Are you kidding me. Greg and Mike, welcome to Egypt!!

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

bes
(just, enough, stop)
(One time, a taxi driver asked me my name, and I said Beth. He thought I said 'bes!' and he stopped the taxi.)

By the by, I am in the Egyptian newspaper! I am the new face of EAIS, meaning they took my picture pretending to teach a couple students something, and then put it on all the posters. Now they are advertising for the school in the newspaper, and there I am. I will sign a copy for everyone, no problem Egypt.

2 posts in 1 day. Say whaaat?

2010-02-09T14:12:00.001+02:00

I have been trying to post that last entry for a week now, but I could only just now do it. So lucky you, you get TWO superexcitingneverseenbefore updates! Boooooom booooom POW!

My friends Mike and Greg have come to visit! They got in on Sunday, and after a very stressful day at the airport (for me, not them; don’t ask), we traveled by camel to my apartment in the pyramid. We have been doing some touristy things, but I know that is not what you want to hear about. What you want to hear about is this:

They brought me a bottle of American Diet Coke! El Humdillilah! Allah has smiled down on me!
In getting a singular bottle of the elixir of life, you go through a series of emotions much like the 5 stages of grief.

The 9 Stages of Diet Coke:

1. Excitement that you have received such a gift
2. Anger that you must wait and refrigerate it
3. Extreme anticipation for the entire next day
4. A strange nervous sensation when you are about to open it, because what if you don’t like it?
5. LOVE
6. A slow depression settling in as you get closer to the bottom
7. Grief because you finished it
8. Over it
9. The realization that you will be even more addicted to it upon your return to the motherland

Question. What is the purpose of all the flap around our earholes? Seriously, you have a hole that is necessary, I suppose, for hearing purposes. But then your ear is just flapping about all around it. Studies have shown that the movable parts of your ears are highly pointless. These studies were conducted by Dr. Beth Overby at the School of Hard Knocks, and they are factual.

We went to the Pyramids yesterday, just to check and see if they were still there. They are. It was uber-windy outside, and there were baby sand tornadoes everywhere. Sand flew in our mouths, noses, hair, and ears. You get sand in your mouth, fine, spit it out. You get sand in your hair, fine, shake it out. But you get sand in your ears, and there is nothing you can do. It just sticks there. It also goes in all those little wrinkly crevices that your pointless ear has, and you must spend the rest of the day with your finger in your ear trying to get all the sand out.

I certainly hope natural selection is working on this ear situation.
And just think, I had to go all the way to Egypt to have this amazing revelation.

Arabic Phrase O’ the Day:

Can you really focus on the Arabic Phrase O’ the Day when you are still thinking about how delicious Diet Coke is?

in your head, pumpkin pie, zombie.

2010-02-04T08:08:00.003+02:00

I still have no internet in my apartment. Thus, I am biding my time by reading the complete and unabridged version of "The Count of Monte Cristo." A quick, 4 month read. No problem, Egypt.

And now for what you have all been waiting for...
A Quick Recap of My Experience at the Egyptian Opera: a Story in One Act.

Becky and I got all gussied up in our opera best, and we headed off on the metro to the opera house. We were extremely excited to be going, for it was the first opera that either of us had been to. When we got there, we found our seats (hello, nosebleed section) and sat down, hands trembling in anticipation. The lights dimmed, the curtains rose, fat people came on the stage, and we were off on a magical adventure! A magical, Italian-singing adventure. We had studied the plot of the opera so that we might have some chance of understanding what was going on. At one point, the singer at hand sang the word "Buongiorno," and Becky and I looked at each other and whispered "Buongiorno!" because it was the one thing we understood. Unfortunately, the opera was supposed to run from 8pm to 10pm, and at 10 pm it was only halfway over. Becky and I had school the next day, so we had to leave at that point. But at least if someone asks me if I have ever been to the opera, I can reply with a resounding "Yes, half of one."

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

akhooya
(my brother)

i am 100% positive i did not finish my muffin.

2010-01-22T10:21:00.003+02:00

A Poem
by Elizabeth Anne Overby

Hello again, I send you greetings!
Today I hope you enjoy your readings.
There are some things I forgot to mention:
Don't forget to collect your pension.
That is not all, be still your hearts!
-for this tale will be in three parts.

The first is a story of love and anguish.
So do read on fore you get a pang-uish.
I have a love of which you are all aware:
My love for Dolly cannot compare.
Each year I throw a celebratory soiree
--some of you may call it an amazing par-tay--
to applaud her voice and laud her birth,
not to mention her incredible girth.
This year, however, we allowed another
to join the bash as a sort-of brother.
Elvis, too, had his birth to rejoice!
And so we did, all with one voice!
Elvis and Dolly, Dolly and Elvis,
sing a song and move your pelvis.
We had friends come from far and near
to celebrate these ones we hold so dear.
An excellent night was had by all...
...adieu until next January decides to call.

Part two of the tale is a simple update--
No tragedy, no romance, no love, no hate.
Once again, the three foreign girls have moved,
and into their new apartment they have grooved.
Still in Maadi they all reside.
A Cinnabon they are beside.
Soon it will be Valentine's Day, and as I am sure
your adoration of me will soon outpour.
Please do not send any cards or presents
or any glass bells with hidden pheasants.
I take that back, send me a pheasant, yes.
But please send it to my new address.
This address can be found below
so you can drop in and say hello.

And now the third and final section;
the one for which you have the most affection.
The one you think about as you dream,
The one that gives each day a gleam.
In your pocket, you probably carry it.
If it's so, then why don't you marry it?
If you were here, you would read C-B-A,
It's time for the Arabic Phrase O' the Day!
And if you say "Yes!" instead of "Boo!",
then here is a gift: I give you two!

boom boom poo
(boom boom pow, as pronounced by my students)

bowel
(bowl, as pronounced by my students)

Road 9, Building 67, Flat 11
Maadi, Cairo, Egypt

a myriad of wonderful things.

2010-01-17T12:47:00.002+02:00

Hello friends + family + admirers,

I have a lot to say, so this will be A-yo King Tut, is that you?: Lightning Round. Buckle up and put on your 3-D glasses!

New Years: I went to Dahab, a city on the peninsula that is very lovely. We went 4-wheeling around the desert, which I was kind of scared to do. Becky and I asked if we could share a bike, and the guy said no because that was for old people. We did it anyway, and ended up looking like Dumb and Dumber with our helmets (Becky is Dumber). Then we went spent New Year's Eve snorkeling, which was amazing. Except for that I learned that I do NOT like things like sea urchins and sea cucumbers and long fish that look like eels. Dahab is famous for its snorkeling, and I can see why. It was gorgeous. Also, a day of snorkeling in Dahab (taxis and gear included) costs 20 L.E. each...or less than $4.00. h'Allah!!!!!!!

Fun story about a kid at school: One of the British teachers was in our bus to go home. One of her kids walked by the bus. She calls out to him, "Ahmed! Study!" His answer? "Insha'Allah." Amen, brother.

Second coming of the crotchless Santa pants: January 7 was Coptic Christmas. Someone at Becky's church gave her a ham, so we all ate it like it was our job. This was my first pork product since I came here, so that was exciting. Never did I think there would be a time when I would be excited about pork (except for honey-baked ham time at Christmas!). Then I put on my Santa suit and we all played putt-putt in Jesse and Niall's apartment. Obviously.

Hey, ask me to do something with you tonight. Oh sorry, I can't. I will be attending the Egyptian Opera. That's right. I will not understand a word because it will either be in Arabic or Italian, but I am sure it will be wonderful. It reminds me of this one time I was at home alone with Michael and I sang in my best operatic voice for as long and as high as possible. When I quit singing, I had given myself a headache. Michael just laughed at me.

Speaking of Michael, here is yet another good story about my class. I will tell stories about my family and friends in my class, and they all know that my brother's name is Michael. I will also use his name when we are writing sentences and such. This is what happens EVERY TIME:

Miss: (writes "My brother Michael and I went to the store." on the board.)

A child in class--you can pick which one because it doesn't matter: Michael, your brother?

Miss: Yes, Michael my brother.

Another child in class: Michael Jackson?

Miss: Yes, Michael Jackson.

Yet another child in class: Michael Jackson is your brother?

Miss: Yes, Michael Jackson is my brother.

Students: (laughlaughlaugh)

Miss: Okay, now let's go over this. "My brother Michael and I went to the store."

Child in class: Michael Jackson!

Miss: Okay, "My brother Michael Jackson and I went to the store."

Still another child in class: Michael Jackson is dead.

This happens at least once a week.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day!!

edenee talat samaket.
(give me three fish)

ah, to be the internet in egypt.

2010-01-08T12:20:00.002+02:00

The internet has decided to take a vacation here in Egypt. I am highly jealous of the Egypt Wide Web. Once I get internet up and running again, I will fill you all in on my recent adventures, but for right now I am borrowing internet from a friend and I only have eww.afewminutes/getoverit.org.

I know you all have been sitting in your dark rooms with the curtains drawn shut, comforting yourselves by watching Titanic on video rotation. I apologize for being MIA (missing in action, not the singer), but I suggest you switch your movie to Little Women now because I don't have time to tell you everything at this moment.

Here is a short list of things you can look forward to upon my return to the e-world:

1. A trip to Dahab, a city on the Egyptian peninsula, for New Year's.
2. A snorkeling adventure on New Year's Eve.
3. A funny story about one of my students.
and
4. The second coming of the crotchless Santa pants.

My friends Niall and Andi are from Scotland, and so in an ironic twist of fate, they speak with a Scottish accent. I have decided that I would just start repeating things they say so that I can also have an accent. Apparently, this makes me sound like a robot.

Scottish Phrase O' the Day:

i canny be bothered to...
(i don't really feel like...)

IT SNOWED IN EGYPT!!!

2009-12-27T12:57:00.010+02:00

No, it didn't. I lied. That was a trap to get your undivided attention.

Christmas in Egypt is like having People Like Me watch Lord of the Rings. You try to do it because it is what everyone else is doing, but you don't really understand it. All the shops in Egypt put out their classiest iridescently shiny garland and their creepiest Santas in celebration. However, I am pretty sure that if they thought about the fact that they were supporting a holiday in which Jesus was born in that-country-not-to-be-named, then all of those things would not have seen the light of day.

Either way, my Christmas was lovely. I slept in, then rolled around all day until it was time to go grocery shopping. Becky and I made Christmas dinner for our friends Jesse and Jabrin.

We made Italian Chicken, cheese and garlic mashed potatoes (not the same as when Aunt Celia makes them), sauteed zucchiniandothervegetables, homemade macaroni and cheese, and homemade Pepsi. Here is a picture of our dinner:

Then Santa came!!

He put presents under the tree:

He hung the stockings with care:

He had a belly like a bowlful of jelly:

I found this Santa suit for 28 L.E. (approximately $5.50), and I obviously had to get it. Beard included! Unfortunately for me, the pants have already ripped in the crotchal region. Who knew that a pair of felt pants would rip once you started wearing them like sweatpants?

I must be honest. Becky was actually the one who put the presents under the tree. She gave Jabrin and Jesse a Rubix Cube. Sometimes I like to call Becky "Miss Rubix Cube" because she is so amazing at it.*** So the three of them sat down and played Rubix Cube, and they did not care that Santa was in the room with them. So obviously, I decided that I would blow bubbles while they played. You can see below how interested they were in the bubbles:
Not at all.

We then started to watch "A Christmas Story," but we all started falling asleep so we called it A Day.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

mary karasmas
(merry christmas, as spelled to me by one of my students)

***I have never called Becky that name.

antarctica. antarctica. antarctica.

2009-12-19T13:43:00.003+02:00

Well it is 6 days until Christmas. Whaaaaat?? I mean, who even knew it was December? The only reason that I even really know that it is Christmastime is because I saw these teeny tiny fake trees in a shop and I wanted one. So I asked the guy how much they were, and he looked very confused. This was because the baby trees were decoration and not for sale. He told me to hang on a minute, and walked out of the shop. Another man came in, picked up the tree, and handed it to me, saying "Merry Christmas." So now I have a pre-decorated faux babin pine tree that is the size of my head.

School is canceled again. We were in the midst of a school-wide window decorating contest, and it was 10 minutes before school got out for the day. Grade 2 was going ballistic because everyone was in the hall crafting, and I think the glitter and glue got up their noses. Then they came and told us to quit decorating and to make sure our kids had ALL of their books. First, I had to make sure I had ALL of my kids. Then I had about 7 minutes to put 50 pounds of textbooks in 18 backpacks of my students who would not/could not stand still. Lord-a-mercy. So now we are doing online learning, which is fine with me.

It is a little chilly in Egypt. I think the rest of the world is snowing right now, but I get to wear my scarves and cardigans (and we all know about my undying love for scarves and cardigans...or scardigans).

Since I will not be home for Christmas, I wanted to make sure that Santa gets my wishlist because I am not sure that he knows where Egypt is. That's a lie. I saw him hanging from the ceiling of the Citystars Mall the other day. I would say that I need someone to give this to him for me, but I hear that Santa is a big fan of "A-yo King Tut, is that you?: Just an American girl trying to get a piece of the Sphinx" by one Elizabeth Anne Overby.

Dear Santa,
Hello again, I hope you have been great this year. I am sorry no one cares about you 11 months out of the year. I will not be at home for Christmas this year, so please make time to do the following:
1. Watch the movie Elf with my dad (because he wants to be total BFF with Will Ferrell). Also, watch Finding Nemo with my mom, and maybe you will be lucky enough to hear her more than excellent whale voice.
2. Make some Trash with Michael. Make sure that every time you say "Worcestershire sauce", you say it 4 times to make sure at least one of your pronunciations is correct.
3. Tell Nathan to eat those sweet potatoes this year because next year it is all mashed potatoes. If you have a little extra time, help him hand out presents because he is sad that I won't be there to help him this year.
4. Find a way to tell my Grandma and Papa that I love and miss them (and Pepper too).
5. Get all the Coteys together so they can stand in a circle in the kitchen and sing the various instrumental parts of "The clarinet, the clarinet."
and
6. Bring me some Diet Coke, for the love of garlands and poinsettias.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day!

khalas
(finished)

I love the word khalas. You can use it for anything, like if you are done talking to someone. Khalas. I like to use the word khalas 13 times a day, and it never gets old.

yalla, habibi.

2009-12-12T12:53:00.003+02:00

What is the best compliment you have ever received? Mine was the following:
"You should have your own talk show."

Here are the compliments that my kids give me:

"Miss, why don't you have your hair the way you had it yesterday? That looked much prettier."

"Ya Miss, when you kicked the football yesterday, that was funny."

"Why is Miss Becky so much better at football than you?"

"Miss, you have dropped 4 things on the ground today."

My Grade 2 class is, like I have said previously, www.wildlikeatiger.com. They make me more frustrated than any other children I know. However, I also must say that they are truly some of the funniest kids I have ever met. They are hilarious, and I always have a really good story to tell Becky and Chan when we get home.

For instance, I have 3 girls in my class. 2 of them are very quiet and shy. 1 of them was the only girl in this class last year, so she pretty much runs the class. The boys love her. It is her birthday this weekend, and one of my boys brought in a bouquet of flowers for her in his backpack on Thursday. Aaaaaadorable.

Last week, I was in the staff room while my class was with the science teacher. One of my kids came in because he had been kicked out of class for being distracting. He had tears in his eyes, but he was smiling at the same time. I asked what was wrong, and he told me he had been laughing too much in class and got sent to the office. I looked at him, and asked him "Wait, are you laughing or crying right now?" He said very seriously, "A little bit of both." Then he started to really cry because he had gotten in trouble. I still didn't know what had happened, so I asked him what had made him laugh in class." When he thought about what was so funny, his tears immediately turned into uncontrollable laughter. He had tears streaming down his face. I just sat there and laughed with him because what else could I do? I told him to go get some water to calm down, and I could hear him laughing the entire way down the hall.

So there you have it. I do love them, in a "you make me angrier than anyone else I know" kind of way.

And now, in the name of Dolly, someone bring me some cheap Mexican food.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

shanab
(moustache)

"gosh, i miss your love of tastelessness."--william hays.

2009-12-04T22:48:00.004+02:00

This is how my life was affected by SlaughteringanimalsforAllah Day:
Not at all.
I did not hear a goat bleat. I did not see a trail of blood flow. I did not feel grossed out. I did smell what I thought was Mass Dead Animal (also known as J-Lo's newest eau de toilette) throughout the city, but my friend told me he thought I made that up. Probably true.

Why work, when you can be on vacation? I have had the last 10 days off for Eid, which has been great. I have actually done a lot during this holiday, so please turn off the latest episode of Glee (I fully expect for someone to have bought me Season 1 by the time I return) and read on.

Niall's brother came into town for a visit, so I got to do a few touristy things with them. We went to the Citadel, which is the fortress that something something something...I can stuff all the celebrity gossip in the world into my head, but I cannot for the life of me remember anything historic. Just type in Cairo Citadel into Wikipedia for more information.

The Citadel looks like Cinderella's Castle, so you are really pumped because it's kind of like you are at Disney World. And then those hopes are smashed because you realize that the ride called "Military Museum" is not really all that fun. I did get to go into the Mohammed Ali Mosque, which was very beautiful, and it was my first mosque that I have been able to go into.

I also took a 3 day trip out to Siwa with a group of people. Siwa is a town that is built on an oasis in the middle of the Sahara. It is about an 8 hour bus ride to get out there, and it is worth every hour. The town is made up of the nicest, most welcoming people who live such a simple life. Donkeys completely override cars there, and everything is made out of mud and wood. We stayed in a gorgeous villa with a rooftop firepit.

On the third day, we went out to go camping in the desert. This involved a jeep ride around the desert. My car driver was WildnCrazy and had us jumping sand dunes and whatnot (Hello, Citadel, that is the kind of ride people would enjoy...). We stopped at the cold springs and the hot springs along the way. Then we got to go sandboarding down the dunes. I have never been skiing or snowboarding or anything, so I just went down the hill like a sled. Most other people attempted the on-the-feet maneuver, but we all know that Beth Overby is Not An Athlete.

We ate dinner at a Bedouin camp, and then a song and dance session with all of them. They played music and sang, and then they challenged us to a dance-off. Winners: foreigners. Then we went out to the middle of the desert and camped around a fire. The temperature was -157 degrees Celcius. We shook and trembled all night in the freezing-ness, only to awake to see that there was a huge stack of blankets that had been sitting there all night.

Riding around the desert is like watching the VH1 re-run special of Flavor of Love. It's the same thing over and over, and yet you just have to keep watching because it's so amazing. I guess the difference is that the desert is this thing where you just wonder how in the world it was created, and Flavor of Love is...well...I guess there isn't a difference after all.

Overall, an amazing trip that I would do again in a heartbeat. Which, coincidentally, could possibly happen since I just found out that there were a bunch of confirmed pig disease cases in my school. Thus, we may be cancelled again. Insha'Allah.

Quick Arabic Joke O' the Day in lieu of a Phrase O' the Day:

What is Allah's favorite insect?
A mosque-ito!
(c) Beth Overby 2009 on that joke. And what.

no problem, egypt.

2009-11-22T18:01:00.004+02:00

Attention all!
The time we have all been waiting for has finally arrived.
No, not the arrival of New Moon to theatres, although 11/20/09 was a seriously sad day for me here in Egypt.
Yes, it is time for the mass slaughtering of animals raised solely for the purpose of killing in the streets. Ah, to be awakened by the cacophony (hello SAT word!) of bleating sheep and goats and cows. And Eid Mubarak to you on either the 27th, 28th, or 29th of November. The government has not decided which yet.

I have been teaching everyone here about Thanksgiving. I forget that even my English as a First Language (EFL) friends are not all American, and that they don't all know the meaning behind this fine establishment of a holiday. So, I told them the story about how the pilgrims came to America, stole the land from the Indians, and ate a delicious meal to celebrate the spreading of syphilis to everyone. I also told them how you cannot wear pantyhose to Thanksgiving or you will think you will die after you eat (quick personal narrative, although this may have happened to the pilgrimettes as well).

Here are the things I am thankful for this year:

1. Otlob.
Sometimes the stress of ordering delivery via phone is just too much. Enter Otlob, the website of the year. You just order what you want online, and it shows up at your door 30 minutes later. If you mess up your order somehow, they call your phone and ask you if you want to change it. I mean, come on America. Catch up.

2. Sleep.
Sleep is amazing. I literally miss sleep when I wake up for school in the morning.

3. American Diet Coke.
Although I am somewhat enjoying the Coca-Cola Light that Egypt provides for me, I sometimes think about regular Diet Coke and I miss it like whoa.

4. My family and friends.
It's true.
I will go so far as to add in my faithful blog readers as well. Because without them, I would be talking to no one in particular, although that has never stopped me before.

5. Egypt.
I do love it here. Amidst all the craziness and frustrations and changes lies a wonderful place and a wonderful experience. Also, there lies a ton of people that I can't understand, but we are working on that.

I found Libby's Pumpkin Filling at one of the stores here, so I will be making a bunch of pumpkin pies (insha'allah). The problem is that I haven't seen those pre-made pie crusts and we can all guess how a homemade pie crust will go for me. The other problem is our lopsided oven that cooks things on a slant and slings 350 degree pans at you when you open the door.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

shara el gai yemeen
(at the next street, turn right)

knock knock.

2009-11-10T21:18:00.003+02:00

So not that much has been going on. Not that much at all. I begin going to work again tomorrow, which is dumb. In my time off, I have been sleeping and playing and rolling around.

One of the days off, Becky and I went to Zamalek, which is yet another sub-part of the greater metropolis Cairo. We went to look at the Cairo Opera House, and then walked from there to Zamalek, which is a little city on an island in the Nile. Unfortunately for us, we crossed over a bridge that led to a road between two walls. We had a wall blocking us from the Nile on one side, and a wall blocking us from Zamalek on the other side. When we finally found a way into the city, we were confused and did not know where we were. We ended up just walking in a big U, which led to a bridge right next to the one we had originally crossed over, basically defeating the point of our adventure.

Either way, on the way to Zamalek, we came across the Hard Rock Cafe. I got a t-shirt. We did not eat there, but I told Becky we were going in there for the sole purpose of getting a t-shirt. The guy gave me a 10 L.E. discount because I live in Egypt and could say approximately 2 words in Arabic. We also saw the Italian Embassy, so we figured we should probably go in there and ask for some spaghetti.

Here is something you may not know about Egypt: the bugs here are for real. Close your eyes and imagine an ant. Small, three sectioned bug. Now imagine the ant from "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" when the kids are trying to find their way back to the house. Huge, giant, massive ant that you can ride around town. THAT is what the ants are like in Egypt.

On a scale of 1-5, I am a 3 when it comes to mosquito allergies. That is what the allergist told me after he poked me in the back and arms 188 times (actual fact this time, not an exaggeration). I disagree. I was at Jesse and Niall's apartment for dinner one night this week, and I got 39 mosquito bites on my lower legs. Thirty-nine! These mosquito bites made me look like a dalmation, in which my spots are not so cute, but rather diseased looking. At first I got really upset, but then I remembered that it is because "mosquitoes like [me] because [I am] sweet" (Sara Overby, 1991).

I am really enjoying my Arabic class. Everyone in there is really nice, and we have a good time. The teacher's name is JeJe, and she is very laid back and funny. If someone messes up and says something incomprehensible, JeJe will say, "What is this, Japanese?" Chan, Jesse, and I are the super stars of the class. We like to act out our skits and throw a few quick Arabic jokes into the mix.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

mashi
(okay)

there is nothing more beautiful than the underbelly of a pink salmon

2009-11-02T22:03:00.002+02:00

There is store here called the Alfa Market. The Alfa Market is the equivalent of a K-Mart + Walmart + Big Lots. The Alfa Market is also one of my favorite places to go. You can buy anything you want. Plus, you can buy anything you didn't know you wanted until you saw it and realized, "Whoa, my life could be complete with this three-tiered plastic rolling basket set."

Here is a list of my favorite things that you can find at the Alfa Market:

1. The finest mug display you ever did see. (I bought a mug that has a picture of a little boy with a crown on his head. The handle of my mug is this same boy's head sticking out of the mug like a doorknob.)

2. Trays for days. Red trays, green trays, fat trays, lean trays. Big trays, small trays, some trays, all trays.

3a. 5 separate, different board games with the name "Cluedo."

3b. 3 separate, different board games with the name "Ludo."

3c. 1 board game with pictures of small children and Disney-esque characters on the box with the name "Defile."

4. A paperweight that is also a snowglobe in the shape of a pyramid with the Eiffel Tower on the inside. Obviously.

and my favorite thing,

5. A life-size faux horse. This is where you can sample how the saddle that you are buying at the Alfa Market will fit on a horse. Last time I went, Walter (the horse) was upstairs. This time, he was downstairs, playfully looking out the window. My question is: whose job is it to carry Walter up and down the stairs?

Some not so good news is that a child in the National Program died from H1N1 this past weekend. He was the first child in all of Egypt to die from it, so our school isn't sure what our next step will be. Obviously, everyone is very sad for the family and hoping that this does not happen again. We are now taking steps in case we are canceled for a longer period of time.

Some good news is that I began Arabic class! I am now fluent. I am in the same class (Level 1, the lowest one you can find) as Chan and Jesse, so that is fun. Andi and Niall (our Scottish friends) are in the same level class as us, but on a different night. Becky is in Level 2, so we like to call her "Level 2" and roll our eyes when she is so much better at Arabic than us.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

zabadee
(yogurt)

beth: "that's a hot mess." becky: "yeah, like a compost pile."

2009-10-30T16:19:00.005+02:00

If I could give Egypt an award, it would the "Best Names for Restaurants, Stores, and The Like" award. Here are some runners up:

4. Amelia's: Fine Brazilian Cuisine
I feel pretty confident that there are a total of zero people named Amelia that hail from Brazil. But by golly, Amelia can cook up a Brazilian storm! (I don't know this, as I have never been, but you can't just use the phrase "Fine Cuisine" all willy nilly. It must be true.)

3. Le Beautiful Sandwich
I saw this cafe in the mall and texted Becky immediately. First of all, can a sandwich be beautiful? I suppose it can, especially if it has one of those cute little toothpicks that holds it together. But more importantly, I enjoy how they took the great name "Beautiful Sandwich," and made it even better by putting a "Le" in front of it. Nothing makes a place more special and refined than a little French flair.

2. Gracias
I had my eye on Gracias ever since we moved to Maadi, because I truly truly miss my queso dip, chicken soft taco, and a side of rice with a diet coke from every Mexican restaurant that I go to. I was hoping that when I got to Gracias, there would be mariachi music, blow up cacti, and sombreros on the wall, just like it is all the time in Real Mexico. Well, friends, here is a fun fact: Gracias Is An Italian Restaurant. I got a pizza.

And the winner for Best Name for a Restaurant, Store, and The Like is......

1. Walk Like An Italian
No explanation needed.

School has been cancelled for 2 weeks because our school has 2 confirmed cases of the swine flu. I still have to go in to work to get things together, but that's okay because I will be there and my students will be far far away. There is potential for shutting down again, but who knows? I may end up having to work through the summer and accidentally living in Egypt forever.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

nadarat mu'azama
(binoculars)

in yo' face.

2009-10-25T20:04:00.003+02:00

75%. That has always been my favorite %. Solid. Three-fourths. A "D" letter grade.
And now, it is the percent chance that our Term 2 will be cancelled due to the pig disease.
So let's all give that one big Shakira Shewolf AAAA-OOOOOOOO!

A good rumor is the gasoline that the metaphorical motor vehicle known as the Egyptian Language School runs on. So when I heard from a co-worker who heard from a co-worker who heard a rumor from another co-worker and asked the principal who said there would be a good chance of getting cancelled, I decided to find out for myself. My supervisor (not the principal, but good enough) said they had been in meetings and there is a 75% chance of getting cancelled. The Ministry of Education has already decreed a few schools closed, and there have been a couple of cases in the National and the IG Programs at our school.

It's probably a good thing, though, because we have been in school for three weeks, and I am in dire need of vacation. Not even a lie. My class is bonkers. Nuts. Wild. Let me explain.

Direct quote from the science teacher:
"I teach everyone in grades 1-6. Grade 1 is easy to manage. The older grades know what they are doing. Grade 2...sucks."

Direct quote from the music teacher:
"I do not like your class."

Last Thursday, grades 1-6 went on a field trip to Fagnoon. Fagnoon is an art farm where the kids can run around, make pottery, and paint on the walls and floor. A great, great field trip. Unless you are Miss Beth and her insane second grade class. When it was time to paint, the staff put triangular pieces onto the table that they could paint a picture on. After that, the kids could move to the wall. The first graders all painted their paintings carefully, and then painted cute little pictures like butterflies on the wall. My class painted their triangles as quickly as they could, then spilled all the paint in order to smear it all over the wall in a beautiful brown mess. Then they threw paint onto wall and onto each other. Miss Beth was not happy on Field Trip Thursday.

Here is a picture of Becky's first grade class's table after painting:

Here is a picture of MY class's table post-Paint Mayhem 2009:

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

bafaddal 'amaal taha Hussein
(i prefer the works of Taha Hussein)

say whaaaaaat?

2009-10-20T18:06:00.003+02:00

Due to a special top secret test run by Michael "The Shark" Overby and Beth "Peanut" Overby, I found out that I can get mail!!! It turns out that mail gets put directly into my door by a super stealth postman/spy.

So. If you would like to attempt to send me mail, then here is the address that I made up to see if the mail would get here:

Beth Overby
Road 266, Building 7, Flat 5
New Maadi, Cairo
Egypt

It cost Michael $0.98 to send me a card. If you, too, would like to make a sweet, young, American girl living in the Big Egyptian Apple happy, you can for the low low price of lessthanadollar!!

Today's Arabic Phrase o'the Day is extra special. This is one of my all time favorite Arabic Phrases. I will be spending a little time explaining it.

insha'Allah
(if Allah wills it)
or
(God willing)

Muslims use insha'Allah when making a plan to do something in the future. For instance, if I were to say "See you tomorrow," the person would then say "insha'Allah." As in, I will see you tomorrow if Allah wills it to happen.

Here is why I love it: Everyone also uses insha'Allah instead of answering "yes" or "no." Will you be here soon? Insha'Allah. Will the kids in second grade be good today? Insha'Allah. Are you going to the bathroom? Insha'Allah.

I once had a taxi driver and I was riding back to Rehab. I couldn't tell if he knew where I was going, and I asked him if he knew the way to Rehab. He said, "Insha'Allah." I mean, that's awesome. I will never answer yes or no again.

Are your lesson plans going to be ready on time?
Insha'Allah.
And they can't say boo.

staring at the swim team gets you killed by a gang of dancing ninja men who know how to twirl.

2009-10-17T15:29:00.004+02:00

Remember that time when there were Roman numerals (I, II, III, IV) and there were Arabic numberals (1, 2, 3, 4)? And then there was that time when the people who spoke English and French and other languages said, "Hey, we will use those Arabic numerals!" Well it must have really made the Arabic speaking people pretty mad, because they just went and invented a whole new set of numbers.

I learned how to read the newandquestionablyimproved Arabic numbers, which is helpful when reading prices and such. I was reading a number in class earlier this week, and one of my kids (big surprise, it was Adham) said: "Miss, you can read numbers in Arabic?" When I said yes, his eyes got big and he told all of his friends. Another kid said, "Can you count?" When I said yes, they all said: "Miss, count for us!" I was so proud of myself and I counted to ten in Arabic as they watched and smiled. I felt like I had truly accomplished something, seeing as I thought I had truly impressed a group of 7 year olds.

Until.

They walked away, and I heard Adham start telling another kid about how I had been counting in Arabic. Then he started counting the same way I had been counting, making fun of how I said the numbers. I said, "Are you making fun of my Arabic??" He started laughing and I started laughing, and I told him I would never count in Arabic for them again.

Here is another fun example of what it is like in my classroom with a bunch of non-native English and some none-at-all-English speaking students:

Miss (that's me. I have no other name than "Miss"): Does anyone know what a bull is?

Students: A ball?

Miss: No, a bull.

Students: Yes, a ball.

Miss: No, a ball is like this (holds up a soccer ball). A bull is a boy cow.

Students: Oh, a bool!

Miss: Yes, a bull.

Students: A ball?

Miss: No, this is a ball (holds up soccer ball again). A bull is this (draws a strange looking cow with horns on the board). A man cow.

Students: A bool?

Miss: Fine, a bool.

Who even knows why we were talking about a bull in the first place. Not me. Definitely not my students.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

fee i'aadit tashgheel iz zibaala fil qahira?
(does cairo have a recycling program?)

(Side note to the Phrase O' the Day. The answer is no, Cairo does not have a recycling program unless you call the trash piles where stray dogs and cats sleep a recycling program.)

don't open your wallet, open your heart.

2009-10-10T12:06:00.003+02:00

Who is a pirate's favorite current Egyptian president?
MubARRRRRRRRRak!

A quick bedtime story:

Once upon a time, I moved to Egypt. Right before I moved, I bought a brand new camera to take wonderful pictures of camels and sand and garbage. When I arrived in Egypt, I looked at the camera after taking zero pictures, and the screen was broken so that I could not see anything. The camera still worked, but I could not tell what I was taking a picture of, nor could I see if it was a good picture until I put them onto the computer. Finally, I went to the Pyramids of Giza and the Sphinx yesterday and just kind of held my camera up and clicked, hoping that something would turn out. I lived happily ever after. The End.

Just me sitting on the Great Pyramid. You know how it goes:

Lily, Layla, and me in the midst of our carriage tour:

The most disproportionate statue I have ever seen, the Sphinx:

Something interesting. All the pictures you ever see taken of the Pyramids are from in front of the Sphinx, and it looks like they are in the middle of nowhere. This is from the back, and you can see that the park where the Pyramids are actually backs right up into the city. You literally walk outside the gates, and boom, apartments/shops/etc.

After walking around the Pyramids for a while, Lily, Layla, and I decided to take a carriage ride (a tiny little carriage pulled by a horse) around the back of the area. After getting in, our driver told us that our horse's name was Michael Jackson. Lily told him that was a very Egyptian sounding name, and I told him that I would be calling him Ishta. The driver liked that, so he re-named the horse for our ride, saying "Yalla, Ishta!" or "Let's go, Ishta!" He would also point out some interesting things about the Pyramids, like the tombs where the people who died while building them were buried.

Side note: As soon as we got to the Sphinx, Lily said, "Well, what do you Sphinx?" and I knew I had made a friend for life.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

mish ma' 'ool! shaklik sughayyara.
(i can't believe it! you look too young.)

Jam tomorrow, Jam yesterday, but never NEVER Jam today!

2009-10-06T13:16:00.002+02:00

It is my favorite time of the year! It is time for the North Carolina State Fair, where you can go and eat fried anythingyoucanimagine, count mullets, watch pigs and ducks run around in circles in exchange for Cheetos, and get a free t-shirt for doing the Agriculture Scavenger Hunt! But, alas, I chose to move across the world and now I cannot attend the Number One Event that I wait all year for.

So. I have a few requests that must be filled in my absence. I need someone to:
1. Eat a corndog.
2. Tell me the newest fried sensation (you don't have to eat it; I just want to know what atrocity they have invented in Oh Nine).
3. Go to the fair with my dad so that he does not go alone.
4. Tell me how heavy the biggest pumpkin is.

That is all.

School has begun. Oy.
It is kind of like someone took the 8 hours of a normal workday, and stretched them so that I am working 12479 hours each day. I looked at my clock yesterday when I thought I only had a couple hours left, and it was 10:30 am. We have school until 4:00 pm. My kids (Adhems and those other ones) are very nice and cute, but I think they eat Pure Everlasting Sugar right before they walk in the door. I tried to play football (that's what I call soccer now that I am worldly) with them at break, but they were all way better than me so I quit.

Now I would like to discuss something that has become very important to me.
Spreadable cheese. Who knew?
You buy a box that looks like it has butter in it, or you buy a jar that looks like it has mayonnaise in it. But it is not butter or mayonnaise! It is cheese! That you spread on things! Some of may or may not be actual cheese, as it is "Gouda flavored cheese spread." That means "This is not Gouda, but it may taste something like it." And it is delicious.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

a'aggar 'agala minayn?
(where can i hire a bicycle?)

"Aren't you glad you came to teach in Egypt this year?"--Miss Maureen Issa, my boss.

2009-10-02T14:11:00.002+02:00

Shocking news. I begin teaching tomorrow. That's right, I have a job. I had an actual work week this week, which I find ridiculous and too much to ask, in my opinion.

There is still a chance of us going to school and then being canceled again, by the by.

Last year when I taught third grade in Durham (shout out to mah girlz), I had a class of 18 kids: 14 boys and 4 girls. This year, I have a class of 19 kids: 16 boys and 3 girls.

Now. This is the best part. I have 19 kids. 1 of them is named Adam. 4 of them are named Adham. That is 5, count them, 5 kids WITH THE SAME NAME. That is over one-fourth of my class. I will be either assigning them nicknames/numbers, or I will be putting them all at the same table so I can say "Adham!" and they will all answer in unison.

In other news, a few of us went bowling the other night. Egyptian bowling is great because I am better than 90% of the people in the bowling alley. My average score is about a 70, so you can imagine what it is like for me to be actually beating people. So we were great (debatable anywhere else), and the exciting part was that if you made a strike or a spare, everyone around us cheered! So they were cheering for us, we were cheering for them...an all around ishta-boomtings kind of night. When we were leaving, the people next to us wanted a picture with our group. Being a professional America's Next Top Model watcher, I happily obliged.

Also, they didn't have my size in bowling shoes, so I played barefoot, obviously.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

basturma
(a cold, sliced meat cured with fenugreek, a pungent spice which is so strong that you'll sweat it and smell it on your skin long after consuming it.)

Hoy Hoy!

2009-09-23T17:11:00.004+02:00

Editor's note: The Arabic language does indeed have a "-th" sound, but Egyptian Arabic replaces that sound with "-s." I am moving to Yemen.

Editor's note 2: There are 2 holidays called Eid. The Eid that just finished was not the one with the poorbabyanimaldeath. If you want to hear about that one, stay tuned until November.

I am currently still on holiday because here in Egypt you never know when that swine flu is going to jump out and getcha. A lot of teachers are thinking that we are going to start October 3 (we will have a much needed day off on October 6), go to school for a week, and then someone will contract the swine flue 5 hours away and we will get off school for the rest of the term. All I am saying is, who will be that special, special person to get me more paid vacation?

During this time off, Becky, Jesse, and I went to Coptic Cairo. This is the Christian section of Cairo. About 10% of Egypt is Coptic Christian (just a little fact I know). Coptic Cairo has a lot of churches you can go look in, and it boasts of three major things. First, there is the Hanging Church, which is a church that was built suspended up in the air over a swampy type area. We got to go and look in in there. Second, there is the church that is supposedly where Mary, Joseph, and Jesus went and hid when they fled to Egypt. And finally, there is the spot where Moses was apparently found in the Nile, which is my Number One thing to see because I also want to find a baby in a basket.

Well. Here is the kicker. Most of Coptic Cairo was closed. For what, you say? For Ramadan. Yes, friends and family and others, Ramadan. Even Christians can get in on a little Muslim fun. Either way, I really loved the area and I didn't get to see baby Moses, so I will be returning in the near future. It was really pretty there and they have papyrus with Christian scenes painted on them, so I got a couple of those.

I also got the BEST GAME EVER!!! For the low low price of 2 and a half pounds (aka $0.40), I got the Coptic Christian version of the game of Chutes and Ladders!!! You play the exact same way as the regular game, only you go up the crosses and down the red arrows. The exciting part is that there are really random pictures at the bottom and top of each cross/arrow which seem to be explaining why you moved closer or further away from the Pope. These pictures do not make sense. For instance: If you are an alligator that goes snorkling, you move closer to heaven and a beaver will make you a pencil. But, if you are a dancing lollipop, then down the red arrow you go, and a glue bottle will get stuck in gum. Do you understand? Me neither, and it is amazing.

Egypt and I have one major thing in common: We Love John Cusack. Seriously. My love for John Cusack began when my Granny had me watch "The Journey of Nattie Gann" when I was about 8 years old. And now, it is John Cusack Central Station up on every channel on television! They love John Cusack, and they LOVE Clint Eastwood. A natural pair, obviously.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

ti' rif kora ustraliyya?
(are you familiar with Aussie Rules?)

out of rehab.

2009-09-12T19:06:00.005+02:00

Fact A: In the Arabic alphabet, there is no letter "p," so it is replaced with the letter "b."
Fact B: Once Egyptians learn about this elusive letter "p," they don't know the difference between a "p" and a "b."
Fact C: In the Arabic alphabet, there is no "-th" sound; there is only a "-ss" sound.
Fact D: My name is impossible to say.

Well, friends, Ramadan is slowly coming to a close. Becky and I had our friend Sherif over for Iftar on Tuesday. It was awful. I am pretty sure we ruined the entire name of America with that singular meal. Thus, we are having a re-do (I think we are going to try and serve the poor boy the leftovers just to make sure we beat ourselves into the ground). This Monday, we are having Sherif, Nashwa, and John over for New Better Iftar That Is Actually Edible! It is going to be amazing like whaaaat.

With the end of Ramadan comes Eid. Eid is a week-long holiday to celebrate the end of a month-long holiday. This is my kind of country. Don't worry, I have week off my non-existent job so that I can finally get some relaxation time. Except for this major event: On the first day of Eid, there is the mass slaughtering of animals in the street. Becky says I am going to hear this from the apartment. I say I will not hear it from the apartment because I will be hiding in my closet with the slidy door shut and with cotton balls stuck in my ears. We were out walking the other day, and I saw my first butcher shop, and there was Miss Bessie the Cow hanging upside down. I about died, and all Becky had to say about that was: "You are going to have trouble during Eid."

In other news, I have gotten out of Rehab! Becky, Channan, and I have combined forces and have moved to another section of Cairo called Maadi. We have the most fabulous new apartment. The reason for the move was because Maadi is a lot more "proper Egypt" (ie. butcher shops with full cows hanging for the world to enjoy). Rehab was a great place, but it cost about $10.00 for us to get to anywhere we wanted to go. Side note for my parents and grandparents: Maadi is where all the ambassadors live!!! Safety first.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

pess
(beth)

awesome blossom, extra awesome.

2009-09-06T11:22:00.005+02:00

You know how they say the toilet flushes the other way on the other side of the world? It may be true because everything is backwards here. For instance, I am currently working 2 days a week and having 5 days off. That is how it should be all the time. My productivity level is about the same either way.

I went swimming in the Red Sea this weekend, so don't even worry about it. One of the guys from my school, Luke, and his wife Erica organized a trip to Ain Sukhna for the weekend. We stayed in a chalet (to me, the word chalet suggests small castle, but no such luck for me to pretend to be a princess) that was about 100 yards/meters from the Red Sea. Please note that I have zero depth perception at all, so that distance could be completely misleading. I'll just say that I could see and walk to it in a couple of minutes. The whole weekend was extremely relaxing and beautiful and I got to work on smoothing out my sweet farmer's tan that I have been aquiring. Oh, and did I mention that for a three day-two night vacation in Ain Sukhna, transportation and lodging included, cost me a whopping $39.00? I give that one big boomboompow.

And what are these?? Pictures?? wikkiWhaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

This is the pool area with some of the chalets in the background:

This is the beach area:

And this is me playing in the Red Sea!!:

I took my Arabic dictionary out of my bag, and now I keep forgetting it. So here is an Arabic Phrase O' the Day from my own brain!!

ishta

(cool)

you would be da belle of da ball.

2009-08-29T14:22:00.005+02:00

On the way to school this week, one of my friends Ahmed looked at me and told me I had a really familiar face. He then asked me if I had ever been in the movies back home. I told him no, not unless you count my stunning performance of Tiger Lily in my family's home video of the play Peter Pan (adapted and directed by my Granny, performed by the Cotey players in my old carport. Star performance goes out to one Michael Overby who flew around in green tights all night and talked to a ringing bell). Either way, I like to consider myself a celebrity in my own world, so next time I am asked if I have been in the movies, the answer will be: Absolutely I have.

Last night, a girl named Nashwa invited Becky, Channan, and me to have Iftar at her family's house. Iftar is the breaking of the day's fast during Ramadan. Becky and Channan know Nashwa from when they were teaching last year. Nashwa's mom cooked for us, and there was an insane amount of real Egyptian food. When you go to someone's house to eat, they pile the food on your plate for you and you just look at it and wonder if you are ever going to conquer the plate. The answer is no, you are not going to conquer it. We had chicken, vegetables stuffed with rice (maHshi), meat and cheese dumpling (sambosek), potatoes, fruit, dessert, and a lot more that I don't know what it was called. Afterwards, we just sat on the couches and rubbed our bellies because we couldn't move. It was delicious and a really fun experience.

You know those times when you are home and you decide, hey, I really wish I had some McDonald's right now? But you decide not to go because that would involve getting up, putting on some semblance of clothes, finding your keys, and driving the 2 blocks to the restaurant? Well here in Egypt, you don't have to even worry about that. You can get anything you want delivered to your door. Anything. Fast food, real food, clothes, groceries, the gas for your stove, and the list goes on. My new best friend is the Hardee's delivery guy, who I can never get the door open for. He laughs at me now, and then asks how I am doing.

Speaking of the door, Becky and I have a very tempremental door. When we first moved in, we had to ring our neighbor's doorbell to get him to open it for us each time. Then our security guard who speaks no English laughed at us trying to get it open. Well, the other night, I could not get in the door at all. Becky was already inside, and even she couldn't open it from the inside. My friend Jesse couldn't get it open. We were shaking that door like whoa. I thought we were going to have to get a basket and tie it to a rope so Becky could hoist me up from the balcony. I went down to get our security guard, and 2 of them came up to help. Obviously, it was the same one who knows we have door issues. Luckily, he got it open, but not without a little struggle so we didn't feel so lame.

I have learned my Arabic numbers 0-99. Booyah.

Arabic Phrase O' the Day!

il ard di bitaa'it meen?
(who owns this land?)

amedeeca fadehda on uugly bitty

2009-08-24T18:43:00.003+02:00

For those of you who are not my true friends and family, my birthday was on last Friday, August 21. I spent the majority of the day rolling around in my apartment with Becky and our friend Channan. The two of them made me a cake, which I ate three pieces of in one sitting. The best part of the cake was that there is no icing to be found in Egypt, so they used chocolate pudding. Cake, good. Pudding, good. Why not?

Post-dayonthecouch, a group of friends that we have modpodged together from the American and British schools and I went out on a felucca. A felucca is essentially a sailboat. Also, I don't know if that is how you spell felucca. I would have spelled it like this: falooka, but Becky says no. About half the people on the boat I had never met before, so I am sure they came because they know I am a celebrity. Either way, we floated up and down the Nile for a couple hours before heading to one of our friend's apartment. I figure that a birthday party on a boat on the Nile in Egypt is pretty solid, although I did not find a little baby in the bushes to bring home and call Moses.

Things that don't matter in Egypt:
1. White lines on the road
2. Time

I would like to discuss number 2. Ramadan has begun, everyone, so Ramadan Karim to you. Because of Ramadan, Egypt decided that they wanted to move Daylight Savings Time up so that they can eat earlier. I think that's hilarious. Also, Egypt may or may not have decided to push the start date of school back to the end of September. The verdict is not out yet, so who knows when school will start. Time does not matter here, though, so whenever it happens, it happens.

My Arabic phrasebook is in the other room right now, and that's about 30 feet too far for me, so no Arabic Phrase O' the Day. Instead, I will give you a British Phrase O' the Day, courtesy of Channan.

That's boomtings.
(That's awesome.)

I miss Savage Garden.

2009-08-18T19:26:00.005+03:00

Important Update: I sort of like the Diet Coke here. I am a little concerned though because what if I end up loving it and then hating the Diet Coke in America? These are the deep things that trouble my mind.

When you are living in Egypt, you watch whatever comes on TV that you can understand. With that being said, I have found a new love for Dr. Phil and Boston Legal.

Here is a picture of my apartment:

Arabic Word O' the Day:

'aml
(lice)

It takes half a camel ride to fall in love in Egypt.

2009-08-16T20:39:00.003+03:00

Well, Loyal Readers, I have finally had a proper Egyptian adventure. So get some tea, put on your Snuggie, and sit back to enjoy this story.

I had been whining (big shock) because I hadn't done anything really touristy yet. Becky kindly agreed to take me to the Egyptian Museum in downtown Cairo, and so we set out on Saturday morning via bus and metro. Downtown Cairo is an adventure in itself, so it was very interesting just to see everything going on there. We played a quick game of Frogger as we crossed the road without getting hit by any cars.

It was hotter than Brad Pitt inside the Egyptian Museum. I would think Egypt would want to preserve their tombs and old pottery by climate controlling through air conditioning, but perhaps the museum is making a lot of profit by just cutting that right out of the budget. For those of you who don't know, this is where a lot of King Tut's tomb is laid out. There were his three huge tomb boxes that kept opening up like those Russian Babushka dolls until you finally got to the smallest doll: King Tut the Mummy. His famous throne and mask were there also, and that was pretty awesome to see. Also at the museum were some animal mummies where you could see the animal bones and whatnot. I have decided to be mummified, so Becky agreed to help me out in that regard.

After sweating my body weight inside the museum, Becky and I were tired and decided to head home for a nap. At the metro station, we got to talking and randomly decided to jump on the metro towards Giza just to see if we could see the pyramids from the train. Fact: you cannot. We also missed the stop for Giza, so we had to turn back around and a friendly fellow helped us figure out that we could take a minibus to the pyramids. We didn't want to actually go into the pyramid area; we just wanted to see them since I hadn't yet.

If you need a break, take one now because I am hitting the climax of my story and you don't want to miss it, I am sure. Your Snuggie can accompany you to the bathroom or to your kitchen if you need...the commercial says so.

Well, on the way to find the minibus to the pyramids, a man introduced himself and asked if we needed a taxi to the pyramids. We decided that we would pay the 10 L.E. to take the drive by, and then just have him drive us back to the metro. As it turns out, he did not understand why we did not want to go into the pyramid area. It took a long time for him to realize that we literally just wanted to see the pyramids, and even when he figured it out, he made fun of us. At that point he told us that he knew of some people that would give us camel rides for a very cheap price. Becky had ridden camels before and said that this was a pretty cheap price, so we decided to go for it. The driver drove us down some dirt road to a small shack where there were a couple camels tied up, so we definitely knew it was safe. :o)

I have been thinking about what it would be like for my mom to get on a camel. I think it would be hilarious. It is ridiculously scary and you cannot really prepare for it, but the good news for me was that my camel was very angry. He was seriously unhappy. My camel driver started out as a 13ish year old kid, who got on the camel, then got off. Then I had a new camel driver named Abdul, who started out walking, then got on. Keep in mind that each time someone got on/off the camel, I had to go up and down on this huge thing that did not know the meaning of a smooth landing. Becky rode her camel with our taxi driver, of course.

We rode the camels around the desert, but it was actually really awesome because we rode directly next to the pyramid park. We weren't actually inside, but we could see them really clearly. We rode up to a Bedouin tent, where we were served tea and my angry camel got to rest.

Here is the kicker. The plan for the day was to go to the museum. I did not bring my camera for that. At the Bedouin tent, there was a beautiful view of the pyramids and so I was really upset that I had no camera (not to mention I was riding around in the desert in an outfit I would go to the mall in). Well, Abdul and Taxi Driver to the rescue! They had a man go back and get a legit camera, and he arrived while we were at this tent. I think the photographer was in cahoots with Tyra Banks, because Becky and I were forced to do a for-real photo shoot right there in the desert. They laid out the camel blanket and we had to pose on that, then we had to pose with the camels, then we had to pose with the pyramids in the background. We ended up having to pay for the pictures, but it was fine because I really am glad we got them. Plus this guy went and got them developed while we finished our camel ride. It was kind of like when you are on a roller coaster and they have your picture ready when you get off the ride, only the ride is 2.5 hours long and your booty really hurts afterwards.

After Egypt's Next Top Model was over, we thought we were turning around to head back. No. In the distance in the other direction, there is another set of 3 pyramids. These are the Pyramids of Sakara. We rode further out in the desert to where we could get a better view of those three pyramids, although they were still in the distance. We stopped to give our camels another rest. I should mention that on the ride to this point, I made Becky's camel driver (also known as Taxi Driver) make her drive the camel. After she was done doing that, the camel decided just to sit down and roll over, and the two of them fell off into the sand which was hilarious.

It was now time to turn around and head back. It was at this point that Abdul professed his love for me. Apparently he believed that through his broken English and my total lack of Arabic, we had connected on a level that perhaps he did not have with his current wife. I told him thank you. Just to let everyone know, a "thank you" in response to "I love you" is not something any man wants to hear, even in Egypt. He got over it though and told me that if I ever needed any help or if I wanted a free camel ride in two months when he got a new camel I could call him.

The rest of the story is short: we went back and got a ride back to the metro. All in all, a ridiculous day that was never meant to happen. When in Egypt.

If you have made it this far, then here is a quick Arabic Phrase O' the Day:

bagamma' 'umla
(I collect coins).

نفسي اقولك

2009-08-11T15:03:00.003+03:00

I don't know what that title means. I started typing and some Arabic showed up. I hope I have not offended anyone on accident. If I have, then you probably deserve it.

I have officially started my job. The Egyptian work week is Sunday through Thursday. On Sunday and Monday, the new teachers came to the school and we met each other and it was really nice meeting them. Unfortunately, we then discussed everything I learned in college and in my first year of teaching for the rest of those days. Fortunately, Becky lent me a notebook and I had some pens, so I have a really solid doodle page going on. Don't worry, my boss understands because I already explained that I have to be drawing/writing something or I will not pay attention. Anyone who has had a class with me knows exactly what I am talking about. I may not get the prize for the most informative notes, but I will get the prize for the most beautiful.

Last night, I got to get out of Rehab for a while (the rehab joke will never get old). We went to Nasr City to Citistars, which is the 2nd biggest mall in the Middle East. It was massive. We needed to go there to get internet, which we did, but it is acting kind of funny so I still don't have it in my apartment. Luckily, using the internet cafe here costs less than a dollar per hour. After we bought that, we went to a resteraunt on the roof of the mall with one of Becky's friends from last year.

I think I am going to the pyramids this weekend. Also, Becky and I have decided to take belly dancing lessons. Fo rill. It's happening. I will be dancing like Shakira by the time I come home, thus fulfilling a lifelong dream. Check that right off the bucket list.

By now most of you have probably skipped over most of this entry, seeing as you are all SO EXCITED about the ARABIC WORD/PHRASE O' THE DAY!!!! Yayyyyy!!!!1111

Today's Arabic phrase is:
taHleel Haml
(pregnancy test kit).

Tarantula wuh tambien.

2009-08-08T17:29:00.004+03:00

Some interesting facts about living here:

1. My landlord has taken the biggest pieces of furniture in all of Egypt and put them into my apartment.
2. I used to scream when my friend William would drive me around, but he is a fabulous driver compared to here.
3. Actually, the driving here is crazy, but awesome because they can fit a car into places I would be scared to put my bike.
4. There is Diet Coke, but it is not delicious. I have decided to love 7-Up while I am here.
5. Your floor will never be clean.

And now, for a new segment in "Egypt with Beth," it is time for the Arabic Phrase/Word O' the Day! I have a fabulous Egyptian Arabic dictionary that has provided me with at least 20 minutes of pure entertainment, and now you get to benefit from this as well. I will open the dictionary to a random page and introduce you to a little taste of everyday Egypt.

Today's Arabic Phrase O' the Day is:

fayn a'rab saydaliyya?
(Where's the nearest chemist?)

Like I said, everyday Egypt. Not a day has gone by when I haven't asked that question.

I am so there, it's insane.

2009-08-03T17:29:00.003+03:00

Hello party people, I have arrived!

The plane ride was relatively smooth, as I had no major problems. I did get stuck between 2 rows of children who felt the need to shake my chair and run around. The best part of the ride was when the pilot turned off the "Wear your seatbelt" light. It was like these people had been riding the plane for days. Everyone got up out of their seat immediately and started wandering around. A man a row up got up about literally 20 times, 7 of which he got his huge box of cigarettes out of the overhead compartment and moved them to the floor, or vice versa. Very entertaining.

I know I said earlier I was looking forward to the plane food, but I was not lying. I cannot say enough about how much I enjoy eating my chicken and rice accompanied with packaged bread and cheese, with a side of what was either tuna or chicken salad. I could probably write a thousand word essay on my affinity of plane food.

I have been sleeping like whoa since I got here. Becky and I went shopping for some groceries, so I am figuring out my way around town.

I live in a town named El Rehab. Our new theme song is "They tried to make me go to Rehab, but I said Yes Yes Yes."

am i leaving tomorrow? i sphinx so!

2009-07-31T16:31:00.003+03:00

Tomorrow, I get on the plane. It's going to be awesome. I hear the planes are golden on the inside, with seat cushions made of 600 thread count Egyptian silk sheets and hand-plucked baby chick feathers. So I am good for tomorrow.

As I am sure that all of you are going to be sick with worry me for the 239 hours that I will be in flight (or is that just my mom?), I have put up a picture of a ridiculously adorable kitten for you to look at instead.

Now, I have to go swim in a vat of Diet Coke because who knows when I will have that again (probably later today when I go home and tomorrow at the airport, but I tend to have a flair for the dramatic).

"feel it, feel it." --mark wahlberg

2009-07-26T22:32:00.007+03:00

No, I am not in Egypt yet. T-minus one week. I fly out of Raleigh next Saturday and get to Cairo on Sunday.

Things I am most looking forward to on the flight(s):
1. The delicious food.
2. The potential of getting more than one pack of peanuts.
3. Meeting a new best friend over the span of 16 hours.
4. Getting mad at my new best friend if that new best friend is a child.
and
5. Turning EgyptAir into EgyptKaryokeAir when I get all up on that intercom.

Serious question. Do they have Diet Coke in Egypt? Because if not, then I am not going. Legit.

Let's get it started in heeah.

2009-06-30T05:46:00.006+03:00

Hello friends, family, and potential stalkers.

I suppose it is time to officially kick off my journey to The Land Down Under: Egypt. I am pretty sure that is right.

I am hoping that if you are planning to follow this blog, then you are aware of the fact that I am moving to Cairo for the next year to teach. When I tell people this, the reaction goes one of two ways. 1) "Egypt! Wow!!" or 2) "Egypt...wow...". In either case, the person always asks how this all came to be.

I came across this journey just as I come across most things in life, randomly and without a whole lot of thought. My principal at the school I have taught at this past year told me that I probably didn't have a job next year (what's up, budget cuts!?). Approximately 47.3 hours (that's a little under 2 days for the non-time-teller) later, my friend Carla's sister Becky told me there were positions open in the school that she would be working at in Egypt. For those of you who are aware of my undeniable talent of Microsoft Paint, you may have seen both Carla and Becky in my "Growing Up Woodard" album.

In any case, for a girl with potentially no job and no way to pay the rent that she just re-signed for, Egypt was a great offer. Since you are wondering, no, I had never thought of going to Egypt before. But now I had, and boom. It all came up quickly and the pieces fell together very easily. For some reason, it kind of seemed like a sign (enter Ace of Base song here) that all of this happened at a very convenient time. Then the catch came: I got my job in Durham back. Long story short: I am going to Egypt anyway.

So as my gift to you, I provide you with my words. You're welcome. Also, I thought it was about time to have a blog since I didn't do it in 2001 when it was popular to have one.